


Finding Light in the Dark (Kakashi x Reader x Yamato)

by scribblingfairytale



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Love, Love Triangles, Post-Naruto Time Skip | Naruto Shippuden, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-19
Updated: 2018-11-19
Packaged: 2019-08-26 00:13:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16671079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scribblingfairytale/pseuds/scribblingfairytale
Summary: Summary:A mysterious stranger appears during the mission to rescue Gaara, surprisingly offering her help. Without any knowledge about her origin nor her intentions, Naruto accepts her and Kakashi finds himself inviting her over to Konoha. There, their lives get intertwined in a confusing manner, leaving Kakashi both disoriented and mesmerized. As Yamato also gets involved, everything ends up in an emotional rollercoaster. Will Kakashi and Yamato be able to guide her out of the darkness and into the light? Or will she drag them down into the darkness with her?General info:This is a reader-insert set in the Naruto universe following the events from the point where Gaara is revived up until the end of the anime. Thereby, the plot follows loosely the timeline described by Seelentau in the wiki of Naruto.General warning of blood, violence, language and spoilers (if that´s even possible). Warnings for mild or explicit sexual content later on in the series.





	1. Chapter Index

**Author's Note:**

> This is a summary of the chapters divided in Arcs. It´s going to be modified/updated once the chapters are written.

###  **Chapter Index**

note: _Italics - interim titles subjective of change_  
         ~~_Italics & small - preliminary events described in this arc_~~

 

Prologue - Darkness _(will be added in between the first chapters)_

 

**Arc I: Introduction - An Invitation to Stay**

Chapter 1: Friend or Foe? - Rescue of the Fifth Kazekage  
Chapter 2: Fleeting Memories  
Chapter 3: The Intent to Kill  
Chapter 4: The Godaime Hokage´s verdict

 

Arc II: Instructions - A Konoha Shinobi  
~~_Naruto´s chakra training with Sora filler arc (Kakashi POV)_~~

 

Arc III: _Immortality_  
~~_Hidan and Kakuzu arc_~~

 

Arc IV: _The Will of Fire_

 

Arc V: Destiny - Declaration of War  
_~~Five Kage Summit & Climax (revelation of her destiny)~~_

 

Arc VI: _Fated Battle Between Brothers_

 

Arc VII: Infinite Tsukuyomi

 

Arc VIII

 

Epilogue


	2. Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This part is not yet written and will be added later on.

###  **Prologue - Darkness**

 

~~As mentioned above this will be updated latest after the fourth Chapter is written~~


	3. Arc I, Ch.1

###  **Chapter 1: Friend or Foe? - Rescue of the Fifth Kazekage**

 

“Ha… Ha…” Kakashi brought out between pants. Exhaustion flooded every fibre of his being as he tried to hold his weight steady on the ground with his trembling arms. Even through the blood still rushing loudly through his veins he could hear the gasps and pants of his companions that were scattered behind him. Sakura, Naruto as well as Gai and his team members were just as surprised to still be alive as he was.

“How…?” he heard Sakura mumbling to his right.

The Mangekyo Sharingan disappeared from his left eye as he turned his head slightly to focus on her. He attempted to answer, but cut himself off. How could he explain what had just happened if he still couldn´t believe it himself? Believe, that he drove Deidara´s exploding body into a different dimension just seconds before the blast could hit them?

“Ha…” he muttered again under his breath eventually realising that the fight was finally over. That they were safe. At least for now.

Kakashi felt the corners of his vision growing black and the blood rushing in his ears as well as all other sounds around him were suddenly muffled as if they were miles away. The exhaustion eventually took its toll and his arms gave in under his weight. With a groan leaving his lips he collapsed on the forest ground.

“Kakashi!” someone exclaimed, but he couldn´t quite tell who it was. He felt arms engulfing his shoulders, lifting him up lightly. Still trying to fully regain consciousness and fight off the blackness in his vision, he waved whoever was there to help him off. He wasn´t important right now after all.

“It´s fine.” he breathed, still trying to catch his heavy breathing.

“Let me help you.” Gai offered quietly as he was suddenly standing right next to him. Carefully he lifted Kakashi up, one arm draped over the other man´s shoulder. Another faint groan left Kakashi´s lips as his strained body was pulled up until he was back on his feet. He leaned his weighed against his rival, and friend.

“There you go.” Gai murmured as he led the way. Silently, everyone following their own train of thought, they left the outskirts of the forest, where they had been chasing and fighting Deidara, until they reached a meadow. The sun was high up in the sky, her warms gently caressing their drained bodies and a soft breeze brushed through the green grass and their hair.

“Here is fine.” Kakashi murmured, already letting himself slide off of Gai to sit on the ground. Gai gently helped him as best as he could before straightening himself to stand next to him. His team, Lee, Tenten and Neji, remained just behind the two. Kakashi had recovered enough to not lose consciousness again and also his breathing was even again. However, he knew that the smallest effort might deprive him off the least bit of strength that remained.

He needed to be careful.

Silently he watched as two shadow clones of Naruto gently placed the person down they were carrying and who they all were here for. The two clones disappeared into small clouds of dust with a small puff leaving only the real one behind who stood just in front of the person, his back facing the others.

An old woman from Sunagakure, Lady Chiyo, that had been fighting alongside Sakura, was sitting just a few footsteps away from Kakashi and Gai. Kakashi noticed her heavy breathing and all the small injuries on her skin. He was sure that her condition was not just from exhaustion, but rather from heavy injuries such as internal wounds, or worse. Yet, she was still here and hadn´t asked anyone to get her back to her village. His eyebrows furrowed as he thought about that.

Was she up to something?

Sakura walked past Naruto to kneel down in front of the person on the ground, facing them all. Then she used her abilities as medical-nin to help as best as she possibly could. Naruto tiredly stared down at the red-haired boy to his feet, his hands balled into fists. Kakashi could tell that the anger that had raged through him earlier had all but vanished leaving nothing else behind than tiredness, sadness and fear. Fear to hear what he already knew when they came to help the boy with the black-framed eyes and the red marking on the forehead. No-one yet dared to crush his innocent hopes of still being able to rescue Gaara.

Kakashi let a faint sigh escape his lips, earning a worried glance from Gai. He ignored it, his eyes never leaving Naruto who seemingly couldn´t bear the tension as Sakura tried to tend to Gaara´s wounds. Everyone already knew what Sakura would tell them, yet everyone remained silent. And Sakura tried to do more than necessary. Eventually, the stream of chakra in her hands subsided and she rested them back on her knees. She sadly glanced down.

“Sakura..?” Naruto broke the silence, nearly choking on the words. Sakura only shook her head sadly in response, getting back up and walking over to Lady Chiyo. Kakashi as well as Gai and his team lowered their gaze at this final judgement. It was over. There was nothing they could do for Gaara anymore.

 _It had happened again…_ , Kakashi mused, his thoughts getting dark and cloudy. He had always hated this part of being a shinobi.

A familiar pain welled up in his chest as he carefully watched Naruto, who started trembling now that the least bit of hope he still had left had vanished as well. His hands balled into fists failing to hide their shaking. Kakashi could sense the tears welling up inside the blonde and could nearly hear the sobs daring to break out. It only made his own pain worse.

“Why?!” Naruto choked out after a long time of silence. “Why did Gaara have to die like this?!”

His question remained unanswered as the blonde made a stumbling step forward.

“You´re the Kazekage, dammit.” he muttered between sobs, some tears falling into the soft green grass. “You just became the Kazekage!”

“Get a hold of yourself.” Lady Chiyo scolded him darkly.

“Shut the hell up!!” Naruto shouted, facing her. His expression was full of sorrow, yet determined, as he stared angrily at her, the tears still streaming down his face. Chiyo´s eyes widened and she stopped herself from saying anything else.

 _Naruto…_ Kakashi sadly thought.

“It´s your fault!” Naruto continued screaming through sobs, his angry glare not leaving the old lady. “If you goddamn sand shinobi hadn´t put that monster inside him, this never would´ve happened! Do you have any idea what kind of burden he carried?!”

Chiyo dropped her gaze, not answering.

Naruto started staring down at his feet, fully engulfed in his sorrow, the tears never dying down. “Damn the jinchūriki… You have no right to act like you´re better,…to label us…and use us…”

His cries got heavier and he buried his face in his arm as the sobs continued rocking through his body, depriving him of much needed air. “I couldn´t save Sasuke…” he cried out what had been going through his mind since he´d seen Deidara hovering above Gaara. “I couldn´t save Gaara…”

Sakura sadly glanced at Naruto, wanting to reach out for him. Kakashi closed his eyes as the familiar pain inside his chest only grew worse. He understood Naruto so well. _And you knew Gaara´s burden best_ , Kakashi thought as he opened his eyes again.

“I trained so hard for three years…” Naruto continued quieter now, forgetting everything around him. “…and nothing has changed!”

Lady Chiyo glanced back up at the crying Naruto, determination suddenly flickering in her eyes. Silently, she stood up and slowly walked over to Gaara. Kakashi furrowed his brows in question as she had troubles walking due to her injuries. Eventually she dropped down on her knees in front of the red-haired boy before placing her hands on his body. Naruto, surprised by her actions, stopped in his tracks to follow her with his tear-clouded eyes. And then Lady Chiyo started to use her jutsu.

“Is that?” Gai murmured quietly realising what was going on.

“Yeah.” Kakashi confirmed his train of thought with slightly widened eyes.

_There is no doubt. So, that´s why she didn´t want to leave?_

Also Sakura´s eyes widened as she recognised the flow of chakra from before. “Lady Chiyo!” she warned. “That jutsu…”

But the old women just looked over her shoulder, closing her eyes. Of course, she knew what she was doing. Naruto confusedly glanced between Sakura and Chiyo. “What´s going on?”

Sakura didn´t answer right away, sadly watching Chiyo as she continued on with what she was doing.

“Sakura!” Naruto demanded after a few silent moments.

“Lady Chiyo is using a special jutsu… That will bring him back.” Sakura eventually managed to say.

“What kind of cool thing is that?!” Naruto exclaimed, both confused and full of hope again. “I didn´t know this kind of thing was existing.”

Kakashi briefly narrowed his eyes to slits. _There´s no question, it comes at a considerable risk…_ , he thought, not able to bring himself to explain it to Naruto. Sometimes it was a burden that he was as naïve as he was. On the other hand, his innocence was also a blessing. Another sigh left his lips and he glanced down onto the grass.

“Na, na, Lady Chiyo.” a voice suddenly chimed in behind them. “You should know that this would be the end of you.”

A presence had suddenly appeared out of nowhere together with that voice. Kakashi and the others turned their heads in shock and surprise, bracing themselves against a possible threat. The intruder leisurely walked out of the shadows of the forest towards them. Most of their body was engulfed by a black cloak, yet tight black trousers and shirt could be easily seen through the gape the cloak created in the middle revealing the person to be female. Her face was almost completely hidden in the shadows of her hood except for her lips that were curled into a faint grin.

_Where…?!_

Kakashi noticed that Neji tried to use his Byakugan on the woman while Tenten and Lee had almost instantly falling into their fighting stances, glaring darkly at the stranger. Indifferent to their reactions, she walked past them. Kakashi opened his Sharingan, which he hadn´t had covered yet, to also try and anticipate her next move even though he had not much chakra left. He was sure it would be enough.

Unless she turned out to be hostile.

As the woman reached Gai and Kakashi, his friend tried his best to hide his tension and not evoke a fight yet. It was too early to tell after all whether she was friend or foe. Her gaze briefly drifted down to Kakashi, his Sharingan burning the image of her eyes into his mind with him neither really noticing nor realizing it. A shudder, though, was his only conscious reaction as she passed him by.

She revealed one of her hands covered by a black glove and holding onto what looked like a flask with an indefinite liquid and carelessly tossed it over to Sakura as she inched closer towards Naruto at an agonizingly slow speed.

“This should help with the poison in that lady´s body.” she explained with a side-glance to the confused Sakura who had caught the flask with ease. Her emerald eyes widened in surprise.

 _Where the hell should she have the antidote from?!_ , Kakashi hissed in his thoughts, gritting his teeth. Sakura had just been creating it herself not so long ago. And now a stranger just happened to carry something like that around with them?

Before anyone could react, the woman´s attention eventually drifted to Naruto whose face was still damp from all the tears.

“Why were you still trying so hard to save that boy…although you knew he couldn´t be helped anymore?” she asked quietly, almost innocently.

Naruto´s all familiar determination returned to his eyes although Kakashi could tell that he wasn´t quite sure how to answer this question to the woman´s satisfaction. It seemed that this answer alone might decide about the outcome of the stranger´s sudden appearance.

“It´s what you do…” Naruto said slowly, his blue eyes seemingly scanning her face for a reaction. “…for a friend.”

She hummed nearly inaudibly as her gaze drifted down to the boy, to Kakashi and the others before it returned to Naruto. “So…this is a friend of yours, Naruto?”

Naruto, eyes wide in bewilderment, only nodded in response. Even though a simple ‘yes’ not really described the relation between him and Gaara, he wasn´t able to think of a more fitting description than friendship. Yet, the fact that she said his name without him telling left him staring at her wide-eyed and mouth slightly agape. Her lips were pressed into a thin line as her gaze again drifted down to Gaara as if she was trying to comprehend why Naruto had been doing what he had been doing. As well as all the others here along with him.

“And…you would risk your own life just to save a friend?” she continued, her eyes not leaving the boy at their feet. “Even fight against your own allies along the way?”

A gasp left Naruto´s lips searching Kakashi´s eyes for confirmation.

 _Of course, he doesn´t remember…_ , the jōnin mused. _But had she been watching us all this time? How…did no one notice her presence up until she chose to show up? Who the hell is she?!_

 _And what does she_ really _want?_

“I would give my life for them.” Naruto eventually confirmed very quietly.

The woman glanced back up at the blonde, her expression unreadable. Her lips were still pressed into a thin line as she halfway turned to face the others as well. For a second, Kakashi caught again a glimpse of her eyes through the shadows only to see confusion in them.

“Then…”, she concluded after what felt like eons, “I will bring him back for you.”

_What the…?!_

Kakashi nearly choked on his own spit, coughing in surprise. _Why should a stranger offer his help out of the blue? Especially since Lady Chiyo is already doing exactly that?_

The others simply stared at her in bewilderment and confusion. Lady Chiyo had stopped in her tracks as well, breathing heavily from the effort of using her jutsu. Naruto, however, was the first to overcome the shock and took a step towards the woman.

“You can do that too?” he nearly whispered, his voice more hopeful than he wanted it to sound. “But…you said…”

A faint smile spread over her lips. “Don´t worry about me. I wouldn´t have stopped Lady Chiyo if I would die from this procedure as well.”

“But…” Naruto said again, more cautiously this time. “Why…should you do such a thing?”

 _Exactly. Why?_ Kakashi thought as they all stared at her, waiting for an answer. Her smile disappeared again and she glanced away into the distance, the soft breeze letting the fabric of the cloak sway around her form. This time it took even longer for her to answer. Eventually, her gaze drifted back to look into Naruto´s blue ones.

“Because it is a good thing to do…” she nearly whispered. “…isn´t it?”

Naruto only nodded in response, but a comforting smile flashed in his face. “It is.”

She returned his smile sheepishly. Kakashi let his gaze wander between the two. Was Naruto really being serious? Would he allow a stranger to help them, although her real motives still seemed to be unclear? As those thoughts raced through his mind and he went through all possible scenarios, her gaze suddenly drifted to him. Even through the shadows of her hood he noticed her brows furrowing as if she was deep in thought, or searching for words.

“How much…” she started, lips curling in thought before she continued, “… _Chakra_ …do you have left?”

Kakashi only raised his eyebrows in response. The way she emphasized the word it nearly seemed as if she´d never heard or used this one before. However, the real problem was not her possible lack of knowledge of certain shinobi terms; it rather was the question whether or not he should tell her the truth. The truth that his body, and chakra reserves, were so drained that he couldn´t fight anymore. Not without paying the ultimate price anyways.

“I mean... Can you still use that eye of yours?” she specified, leisurely pointing towards his gleaming Sharingan.

“Kakashi…” Gai growled darkly next to him, knowing that his answer might decide upon their fate. But the longer they waited… Maybe Gaara couldn´t be rescued anymore.

“To an extent…” Kakashi eventually gave in, still trying to figure out the woman´s intentions.

She only nodded in return. “Can you lend me your eye then?” she asked innocently as she went down on her haunches to be on the same level as he was.

“Huh?” was the only thing he could answer as her eyes pierced into his. They were of such an intense blue, that they seemed to glow even through the darkness the hood created. He felt himself drowning in them as she lifted her right hand up to press her index and middle finger against her temple while still keeping her eyes locked with his. As nothing seemed to happen, Kakashi started to uncomfortable shuffle in his seat, but couldn´t bring himself to look away.

Suddenly he saw himself how he squirmed under her gaze. And he saw Gai as well as his team members lingering behind him.

_What the hell?!_

He gasped, not able to comprehend this image and the fact that he must´ve been looking right through her eyes now. As soon as the image popped up though, it was already gone again. It left him baffled, staring at her while his breathing caught in his chest. His hands were slightly shaking and he felt more of his chakra flow to his Sharingan.

“You should tend to her now.” the woman hinted at Sakura before standing back up and scanning the surrounding area around Gaara with her eyes.

_Or rather with my Sharingan…_

Sakura snapped out of her trance and hurried over to Lady Chiyo, gently dragging her away from Gaara to apply the antidote to her. The old woman fell unconscious back into Sakura´s arms as she started over again in healing her wounds.

Kakashi started to pant slightly again, feeling as if the stranger was draining the least bit of chakra out of him. He felt Gai´s gaze resting on him and noticed his mouth moving to speak. Yet, the words of his friend never reached his mind.

All of a sudden the only thing Kakashi was capable of doing was staring wide-eyed ahead. Images were racing through his mind as his vision turned even more blurry and he unconsciously started digging his fingers into the ground as he tried to focus. He first had brushed his lack of hearing and seeing clearly off as exhaustion. But something seemed odd…

As if the woman was doing more than just using his Sharingan. It rather felt like a connection, a bridge, and yet he seemed to be floating through his mind, not able to grasp any thought passing by.

“Kakashi!” Gai hissed, but Kakashi still neither heard him nor reacted to it.

Then, just as quick as it had appeared, Kakashi snapped back out of this trance and glanced up at Gai.

“What?”

Gai´s expression was unreadable as if he was not sure anymore of what he´d seen just a second ago.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah…” Kakashi quickly responded, glancing away again. The strange feeling of floating through his thoughts was gone, but he could still feel something lingering just in the back of his mind.

“Naruto.” the woman eventually said as she stopped scanning the surroundings. “I need you to do something for me.”

A small growl left Kakashi at those words. He knew there had to be a catch and he hoped that Naruto wouldn´t easily give in on that. No matter how much he wished the blonde to be happy and able to save Gaara, they couldn´t possibly know the intentions of the woman. Maybe she was hostile after all.

They shouldn´t risk everything just for this silly wish.

“Anything.” Naruto innocently said.

 _Damn, Naruto!_ Kakashi balled his hands into fists, afraid that this situation might still turn against their favour.

“I need you to create a clear picture of that boy in your mind.” she quietly explained, glancing intently at the blonde. “Who he was. Who he is. And who he will be.”

Naruto blinked in response, determination in his eyes.

“Can you do this for me?”

“Yes!” he simply said.

She nodded, a faint smile gracing her lips. It oddly seemed like a sad one, Kakashi mused as he saw her gaze briefly drifting back to him. Although she still seemed to be on their side, Kakashi didn´t allow himself to relax. Not yet anyway.

“Alright then.” the stranger finally said.

With that she walked the last few steps over to Gaara where she went back down on her haunches both hands pressed down on the ground right in front of the red-haired boy. Slowly, she moved her hands away from each other and up in the air in one swift motion, swirling up dirt along the way. The dirt moved up with her as she stood up again, growing thicker with each passing second, swirling around her and Gaara.

“Hey! Wait!” Naruto suddenly exclaimed, trying to close the distance between him and the woman, but was hindered by the cloak of dust engulfing the two more and more. Fear and panic bubbled up inside the blonde as she glanced at him with an unreadable expression.

“He already _is_ dead, so I won´t be killing him.” she stated neutrally. “And if I wanted to snatch him away from you, I could´ve done this way easier.”

 _She has a point_ , Kakashi mused. _But we still don´t know what you´re up to. And why you´re really doing it in the first place._

“Please…” Naruto whimpered, tears welling up inside him again.

“Envision him.” was the last thing that echoed through the air as the woman was fully engulfed in this small storm of dirt.

“Gaara…” Naruto whispered, but closed his eyes nonetheless.

The rest of the group stared confusedly at the whirlwind of dust. Kakashi tried to focus the Sharingan on it, but could neither detect the woman nor the red-haired boy anymore.

“Neji?” Gai asked barely audible as the wind ruthlessly howled where the woman and Gaara had disappeared just a second ago. Both he and Kakashi glanced at him intently.

“Nothing.” the boy simply growled in response. “Absolutely nothing. I didn´t even see any chakra inside her to begin with, let alone now in this storm. And yet…”

“Kakashi?” Gai turned towards the other jōnin. “Do you see anything with your Sharingan?”

A heavy sigh left his lips as he glanced back past Naruto.

“It´s just like Neji said.” he answered. “She doesn´t seem to possess any detectable amount of chakra. Yet…you can literally _feel_ the energy right now…”

“Aye…” Gai confirmed darkly.

The group fell silent then, watching the wind still swirling up the dirt in circles around where Gaara and that woman were supposed to be. With each passing minute, the sound of the wind increased as well as the speed, letting the dirt move even faster and higher. Naruto, his eyes closed shut, was sitting on the ground by now, obviously following the order of the woman.

After what felt like eons, absolute silence fell onto the meadow although the wind was still moving in fast circles. The dirt suddenly changed its appearance, but neither of them noticed it until the wind started to subside. As it stopped entirely, the dirt was just hanging there in the air. That was when they noticed.

“It´s sand!” Sakura stated what they all saw. Even Naruto opened his eyes again to stare at the scenery.

The figures of the woman as well as the boy to her feet could be seen again through the wall of sand around them. She seemingly held her hands up in the air, just mere inches away from each other. As her palms connected, she slowly moved them downwards, the sand moving down to Gaara mirroring her movements. The moment she rested them against her chest, Gaara was completely covered with the sand.

And then it suddenly disappeared, revealing the red-haired boy. The colour of his skin was not grey anymore and even through the distance they realised that his chest was slightly, but obviously, rising and falling. He was breathing.

He was alive again.

Naruto, half laughing, half crying, darted forward to the boy, engulfing him in a light embrace. He started mumbling incoherent things, but Kakashi thought to hear the words ‘thanks’ and ‘alive’. The woman simply turned away from the two and made her way through the group to leave.

“Why…?” Lady Chiyo asked weakly as the woman passed them.

She stopped to look down on the old woman, her expression unreadable. She seemed tired, but there was also something else flickering in her eyes.

“You are an elder of his village.” she rather stated than asked after a moment. “Shouldn´t the elder advice the young? So they are not repeating the same mistakes they´ve already done in the past?”

Without waiting for an answer, she continued walking past them. Their gazes simply followed her. Just as she had passed Gai´s team members she stopped and slowly turned back around as if she just remembered something. She went back down to her haunches and her gleaming blue eyes pierced into Kakashi´s grey ones.

Again, he couldn´t help but look right into them, forgetting everything around him. A shudder rolled through his body as she brought her index and middle finger back up to her temple just like she had done earlier.

“I think you should have this back…” she whispered so only he could hear.

With that he felt that lingering feeling in his mind crawling away. As soon as she lowered her hand, the exhaustion flooded every fibre of his being once again. Blackness crawled back into his vision. Just before he collapsed face first to the ground engulfed by darkness, he could see how she disappeared without a trace.

As if she hadn´t been there to begin with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just recently started watching Naruto Shippuden and I try to catch up with Naruto simultaneously, but since I just scratched the surface most of the characters I am going to use/describe during this series will/might be out of character.  
> I hope you´re fine with the story being mainly written out of Kakashi´s & Yamato´s POVs and not/rarely from the reader´s POV. I´m not yet sure how things will develop, so the POV might change in the end.  
> As already stated above, the reader´s appearance is nearly set in stone especially regarding her eyes. I might change my plans regarding her hair in the end, but I´m not sure yet. Again, I´ll see how things will develop.
> 
> I´ll try to put this story into the Naruto Shippuden storyline, but since I don´t know how fast I am in catching up with it or maybe my story may not fit so well, I might end up changing a lot. But so far, I am planning to keep it in the storyline.


	4. Arc I, Ch.2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just like his mind, Kakashi´s memories are slightly scrambled. If you get confused, see the end for more information.

###  **Chapter 2: Fleeting Memories**

 

Soft mumbling voices reached Kakashi´s ears as the darkness in his head allowed him more space to ascertain his own thoughts. Yet he felt himself drifting not able to think clearly, the voices around him muffled, their words passing through his head like the calming, constant stream of a river.

As the muttering around him subsided, delicate hands came to rest on his bare chest and forehead. His body flinched at the sudden contact before relaxing itself to the provided warmth. He didn´t remember how he ended up being naked, let alone how he´d gotten here in the first place. The only thing he did remember though was a strange feeling of his body being pulled at, his arms flailing helplessly around him, his neck stretched in an unnatural way and his head bumping in different directions without him being able to control it. From the corner of his eye he recalled seeing a constant stream of colours before darkness replaced them.

Both his eyes cracked unconsciously the slightest bit open as a nagging feeling crept its way back into his consciousness from the back of his mind. He was greeted with white as the light hit his pupils, blinding him. Hushed soothing murmurs were directed his way as the hands continued its ministrations at other parts of his body while this nagging feeling overtook him, making his body twitch involuntarily.

Eventually the warmth of the soft hands disappeared, but the murmuring remained. It didn´t occur to him that they were directed at him until his hand was gently swatted away and tugged back to rest at his side. He furrowed his brows, his mouth closing as if he had tried to say something.

“Relax.” the female voice gently ordered as the hand came back to rest on his forehead.

“Rest now.”

And with that his mind fell back into the welcoming darkness of unconsciousness and the incessant stream of his fleeting memories.

~

“Are you sure you want to go back to Konoha already?” Kankurō asked in surprise. “You should stay a while.”

“Right, at least for another day.” his sister Temari chimed in. “You should rest before you leave.”

Kakashi remembered in the haze of his unconsciousness the worried looks on their faces as they were all gathered in the Kazekage´s office. He was leaning against Gai, his arm draped around the other´s shoulder, secured by the firm grip of a hand. The rest of their teams were gathered next to them in a row as they were facing the lively Gaara at his desk, his own comrades framing both his sides.

He heard Sakura and himself explaining their reasoning without clearly remembering what they had said. However, he knew it had been about Akatsuki and Tsunade as he felt Baki´s attention drifting towards him.

“Still in your status…” he recalled Baki saying, leaving the rest unspoken.

“No need to worry.” he reassured him rather briskly, his voice strained. “I have a comrade I can count on.”

Gai grinned at his words, releasing his arm for a second to place his fist against his chest. “Oh, leave it to me!” he exclaimed followed by his usual flashy grin.

Again his memory failed him as he noticed Baki´s mouth moving, his voice filling the room while Kakashi´s head was not able to comprehend the words.

“… Are you sure you don´t want to send a message?” Baki finished.

“I´ll report to Hokage-sama in person. There´s something bothering me…” he said darkly, noticing how both Gaara and Lady Chiyo shot him a knowing look.

-

“Oi, Sensei!” Tenten called from the distance. “You two are slow!”

Kakashi had already noticed his friend´s irritation as he was biting on his lower lip, face turned into a grimace in an attempt to conceal the feelings bubbling inside him.

 _He´d never been good in hiding his feelings_ , Kakashi mused exasperated as Gai´s discomfort only increased at Tenten´s words. But even if he wanted to, Kakashi wouldn´t be able to be any faster than this. His feet were merely lifting enough for him to take decent steps without him falling over altogether. If it wasn´t for Gai´s supporting weight next to him, he probably would have collapsed after a few meters. But his friend kept him moving even though it was at an agonizingly, and obviously aggravating, speed.

“Ahhh, sorry about that Gai-kun…” Kakashi tried to calm the situation, a nervous chuckle leaving his lips. “Using this new Sharingan really drains me, so…”

Gai, however, didn´t seem to listen as Tenten turned back to them again. “Hurry up!” she nearly scolded the two older jōnin.

Suppressed angered grunts left Gai´s tightly sealed lips, his agony increasing a thousandfold as they continued walking in _that_ speed. Kakashi started to get uneasy as well, annoyance rising inside him at his friend´s reaction. Though, if he started scolding him now as well, the situation would probably end up even worse than it already was.

Suddenly, after a few more angered grunts and coughs from Gai´s side, Kakashi was hurled up into the air before free-falling down again, turning the insides of his stomach upside down and leaving his mind dazed and blurred as he landed on something soft. The position his body was in felt unusual and uncomfortable, but his mind was too slow to catch up on what had happened and what was going on.

The last thing he registered before his mind went totally blank, was Gai´s satisfied chuckle. After that, everything was just a mere hustle of colours, sounds and sensations. Since his mind was not able to keep up with their surroundings anymore, it simply decided to stop working entirely.

Maybe he should´ve scolded Gai instead after all…

-

“Kakashi…” a voice mumbled behind him just after they had left the Kazekage´s office.

He hummed in response questioningly, turning around with the help of Gai to see who it was since his dazed mind was not able to figure it out by just the voice anymore.

Lady Chiyo was standing there in the middle of the hallway seemingly the last to have left the office room. Gaara and his siblings were leading the way outside, the others following them quietly down the hallways. Since Kakashi´s body was just as exhausted as his mind, they already had a hard time catching up to the others. Yet, he hadn´t noticed that Chiyo must have stayed just behind them as if waiting for the right moment to chime up.

“I´m sorry…” she started, closing the small distance between them until she was just a mere step away. “…about earlier.” she clarified. “Your father was probably a great shinobi.”

A little caught off guard, Kakashi just widened his eye in surprise.

“Yes, he was.” he eventually said.

Lady Chiyo nodded with the faintest of smiles on her lips as she glanced down to the ground. Silence spread around them as she tried to find the right way to put things into words. After a while, her gaze met his again.

“I will do as she said. I will do my best in advising Gaara.” she said quietly. “Maybe this way I can redeem myself for all the bad things I have done in the past.”

Kakashi just raised his eyebrow in response.

 _Why is she telling_ me _that?_

“Tell her that.” she added. “When you two meet again.”

“Ah…” Kakashi murmured. “ _If_ we meet again, that is.”

~

Eventually the darkness subsided enough for Kakashi to be able to _feel_ again properly. It was then that he realised that he was lying in a soft bed, a duvet draped up till his nose to cover his usually clothed face. He wasn´t wearing much except for his underwear, yet he was still not conscious enough to shiver despite the warmth the covers on top of him provided.

He felt absolutely _wasted_ as if he had spent the whole night drinking, his mind still slightly spinning, images of memories flashing in the backs of his closed lids. The familiar warmth of the sun gracing is skin helped him to stay focused on the feelings and not get lost in either darkness or his train of thought again. So, he focused a while on the steady rushing of his blood through his veins that muffled any sounds around him and his calm, nearly lazy, heartbeat.

It was then, as he not just felt the sun on his skin, but also saw the light beneath his closed eyes, and his bloodstream seemed to fall quiet, that he felt the presence of others surrounding him. He noticed their presence first before he also saw the way too familiar chakra signatures. Everyone seemed to be there.

“Ha…” his drained voice murmured as he opened his right eye lazily. He only managed halfway though, as he tried to focus the blurry image up ahead, turning out to be a greenish ceiling, a soft grunt of exhaustion leaving his lips. His hopes decreased as he recognised the ceiling, realising in an instant where he was.

Naruto´s face popped into his field of view, glancing down at him. There was not the slightest hint of worry visible in his blue eyes. Rather impatience.

“Uh? He´s awake!” he exclaimed his face not disappearing out of Kakashi´s vision.

“Here again…” Kakashi stated the obvious as the door was slid open. He barely moved his head to see who it was.

“Good work, Kakashi.” the blonde woman, who had just entered, said with a faint smile.

“Tsunade-sama…” Kakashi mumbled in response, trying to turn around more before he pushed his elbows into the soft mattress to get up. A sharp pain shooting through his body hindered him though in lifting more than his head by a few centimetres. As he flinched, he felt the duvet sliding down his nose nearly revealing his face. His head slopped back onto the pillow and the duvet fell back into place. From the corner of his eye he noticed Naruto´s face lightening up and trying to lean in closer without anyone noticing.

 _Guess they´ll take any possibility to get the shortest of glimpses_ , he mused as the ongoing conversation reached his mind again.

“Don´t force yourself, Kakashi-sensei!” Sakura chimed in as Tsunade made her way to stand next to his bed.

“I checked at you earlier. Looks like you have to stay in bed for at least a week.” Tsunade explained. “And after you´re out of hospital, it will be another several days before I give you the clear to go on any missions again.”

“I had a feeling that would be the case…” Kakashi managed to answer exhaustedly.

“Looks like it´ll take some time for you to master that new Sharingan.” he heard her say with amusement in her voice.

“Ha…” he breathed his agreement, not able to argue anyways, Naruto´s face disappearing from his view. “You´re right.”

“For the time being, don´t overdo it and rest up.” She turned towards the others in the room. “Team Gai, I want you to rest today as well!”

He wasn´t able to muster a reply as his mind drifted elsewhere again, barely registering how Tsunade and her assistant Shizune and shortly after also Sakura and Naruto left the room. Eventually, only Gai remained, popping into his field of view.

“Get well soon, my eternal rival!” his friend exclaimed, flashing his trademark grin before disappearing alongside his team leaving Kakashi alone again.

Soon after, the constant passing of footsteps in the corridor drifted him back into the disarranged chaos of memories that was his mind.

~

“Why are we here again?” Naruto mumbled with his mouth full of instant ramen.

Kakashi sighed exasperated, his eyes leaving the fire in front of him to glance back at the others that were sitting scattered around in the small cave. Everyone was eating what they had packed for their mission quietly, except for Naruto. The blonde had constantly bickered about the fact they had taken a different route ending up here in this cave in the forest. Any explanation provided was interrupted by him starting his tantrum all over again.

Unlike the others, Kakashi had decided to stay outside leaning against the stone wall just beside the entrance to the cave. He knew from the numerous futile attempts of his team in the past to see his face, that they would eye him now in his exhausted state more closely to get even more than just a glimpse. Considering his shaky attempts to walk, he was sure he wouldn´t be able to pull his mask up in time if anyone was shooting a glance his way. This way, being outside, seemed to be the safest to not end up starving.

“If you would just **listen** for a second.” Kakashi growled angrier than he intended to, though it successfully shut Naruto up, who in return finally glanced at Kakashi, his mouth still filled with noodles to the brim.

Kakashi suppressed the urge to click his tongue as he started to explain what felt like the millionth time. “I already told you. Do you rather prefer sleeping in the middle of the desert with no cover?”

Naruto raised his eyebrows as he finally seemed to understand. Gai shot Kakashi a look which left him rolling his eyes and returning his attention towards the fire and his own meal. He knew himself without Gai giving him **that** look that he was lucky that Naruto was so dumbfounded and accepted any plausible explanation without thinking about it too closely. And he also knew that the others wouldn´t be persuaded that easily, yet they remained silent as if they knew it was useless to start an argument. The Copy Nin wouldn´t change his mind anyways.

So, they remained like this for a while, silently eating up their meals as the sun slowly disappeared, the first stars appearing at the darkening sky.

“We are taking shifts doing watch.” Gai instructed. “Lee, you´re up first. Neji will take over two hours later.”

“Understood!” Lee exclaimed enthusiastically as he marched towards the exit to sit by the fire. Kakashi simply remained where he was, resting his head against the stone even though it was uncomfortable. He was too exhausted to care anyways, so he closed his eye and the soothing crackling of the fire helped him drift off to sleep.

-

A sharp sting on his arm made his eye flutter open, unable to focus immediately on his surroundings. Kakashi noticed that the sun was already setting before he even realised the nurse who had caused the pain that had woken him up to begin with. Just as she mumbled an apology, his gaze drifted to her as she patted his arm before applying an infusion to the needle that had just penetrated his vein in the crook of his arm.

He was wearing his regular pants by now as well as a sleeveless shirt that was directly connected to his mask, which he usually wore when he slept. His face was covered by the cloth, the duvet now reaching up till his chin. When and by whom he got dressed, he couldn´t recall, nor how much time had passed by now. Whether it was days or just hours, he couldn´t quite tell.

The nurse snapped him back out of his thoughts as she mumbled another apology, making her way to the door out of his view and back into the hallway. Sighing heavily, his gaze wandered outside, watching the darkening sky as another part of his memory of that day of Gaara´s revival came back to his mind.

-

He didn´t allow himself to surrender yet to the overwhelming feeling of exhaustion. It had taken a toll on him more than enough already. He needed to stay focused at least until the next morning. When, hopefully, everything was settled.

Gai noticed Kakashi wrinkling his nose in concentration.

“We really should rest.” he murmured so only he could hear.

“I know.” was the simple reply as he ignored the implied _you_.

His friend nodded as he continued leading him behind the others, who were already a few steps ahead, but not enough to be out of earshot. Kakashi dropped his voice to a dark whisper as he finally spoke what he´d been musing about the past hour since they had left Gaara and his siblings at the entrance to their village.

“We should take a detour.”

“I expected no less.” Gai said gleefully. “My eternal rival, you want to try and see her again!”

Kakashi hummed in response instead of ignoring Gai´s ridiculous gleefulness which he would normally do. Matter-of-factly, he needed Gai to assist him in walking, so he didn´t dare pissing him off.  
Yet.

“So… It´s back to that forest?”

“Yeah…”

“You know…” Gai added after a moment of silence. “She might not show up.”

“I know.” Kakashi whispered darkly.

“We wouldn´t be able to find her on our own…” Gai mused.

“I know.” His whisper nearly turned into a hiss.

“And Akatsuki might also still be lingering in there…”

“I _know_!” Kakashi growled silencing Gai momentarily.

The others turned around to them, but didn´t dare ask as Kakashi simply glared at them in return.

“It´s a gamble, Gai. I know that much.” Kakashi murmured after a while. “But…” he trailed off.

“But? You´re having a hunch again?” Gai finished his thought.

“Maybe.” was the leisurely answer.

Gai couldn´t help but grin at that. “Then we might actually have a chance.”

“I said, _maybe_.” Kakashi reiterated.

“You´re hunches mostly turn out to be right, though.” Gai said smirking at him before dropping the subject altogether. “Oi, everyone!” he exclaimed instead.

The others turned around again.

“We´re taking a different route home.” Gai declared before pointing to the general direction of where the forest was. “This way.”

Naruto muttered something under his breath while Sakura opened her mouth to argue against it.

“We´re going that way.” Kakashi said with a low growl. “No buts!”

-

Just around midnight, the light of the moon gently caressing his sleeping form, Kakashi felt something warm land on his shoulder, gently squeezing it. It took him a minute or two until he managed to lazily open his right eye only to be greeted by Gai´s black ones. With a satisfied grin, Gai removed his hand from Kakashi´s shoulder before standing straight and walking over to the fire. Considering no-one else was there, it was his turn to do watch.

Kakashi let an inaudible sigh leave his lips as he blinked several times to get fully awake. As he lifted his hand to readjust his forehead protector that had nearly slipped over his right eye as well, he realised that a duvet had been draped over him. Who did it and when was a miracle he couldn´t solve. However, he noticed a faint female scent as the duvet fell from his form as he struggled to get up, indicating that either Tenten or Sakura must´ve done it.

As he finally manage to stand on his shaky legs while steadying himself against the stone wall he´d been sleeping at, Gai returned his attention back to him. His expression was unusually serious and maybe even slightly worried as he watched Kakashi taking a stumbling step forward. Kakashi gritted his teeth has he tried to make his body move to his own will and not on his own accord, nearly toppling over after he´d let go of the supporting wall.

Oddly, Gai remained silent as he watched him, ignoring even the warning looks Kakashi was giving him over his shoulder, varying from _‘Don´t you dare say anything!’_ and _‘Do you have to watch me?’_ to _‘What the hell is wrong with you?’_.

Eventually, Kakashi reached the first tree and he leaned against it, briefly catching his breath before he pushed himself deeper into the forest and further away from the cave and everyone else. With each further step and thanks to the trees around him, his steps got more secure. Before he fully disappeared he heard Gai´s voice quietly whisper after him.

“Good luck.”

Kakashi huffed inaudibly as he reached a small clearing about a hundred meters away from the cave. In the middle of it was a big tree, illuminated by the white glow of the moon above him. He flopped down against a tree just opposite of the big one, the exhaustion hitting him full force once again. Just walking this short distance had deprived him of the bit strength he had regained during sleep, leaving him slightly light-headed as he tried to even his breathing, a droplet of sweat running down his temple. He absently pushed his forehead protector up to expose his still closed left eye before resting his head against the tree.

Luck he needed indeed.

It was nothing more than a stupid hope that had lured him back here towards the forest wishing that she´d either show up on her own or make her presence known for him to separate himself from the others and confront her. Though, why should she do that to begin with? For all he knew, she could already be up and gone to wherever she came from or to someplace else entirely. They didn´t know anything about her after all.

Yet, here he was, back in that forest where she had appeared from, hoping, craving even, that she might show up again. She seemed to possess incredible strength considering she had been able to revive Gaara showing only the slightest bit of exhaustion. That alone made her either a worthy ally or a fearsome enemy.

He desperately wanted to find out who she was and what led her to help them without even knowing why he wanted to confront her so badly to begin with. But that look in her eyes… So innocent and still, there was something else to them he couldn´t quite place. Something that made him sit here in the darkness, waiting for her without the tiniest hint that she might actually show up.

Because, who was he that she should appear again to answer his questions? Why should she be interested in hearing him out or finding out more about them?

No, he didn´t need any luck.

He needed a damn miracle.

~

The faint sound of birds singing outside in the winter morning barely reached Kakashi´s consciousness as he stared up ahead to the ceiling with his half-lidded right eye, barely registering his surroundings let alone his own mind. He was simply _there_ , caught up in the constant stream of images that had slightly subsided during his night’s sleep, but hadn´t fully stopped yet.

He remembered a nurse entering and replacing his empty infusion bag with a fresh one before leaving again just after he had woken up at dawn. His mask had been pulled down again during the night and the duvet was covering half his face instead, probably to help him breathe properly. Although he had been drifting on and off from sleep and unconsciousness, he still felt mentally drained. And the memories simply didn´t stop coming back and forth in waves, scrambled and non-chronological.

Only slowly did he regain his ability to think straight again as the memories washed over him.

-

It had been about two hours after they had entered the forest where they had fought against Deidara as Naruto began his bickering. Kakashi barely listened though, his mind already elsewhere caught up in the endless possibilities of how this night might turn out. The others also ignored the blonde as they pursued their own train of thoughts.

Everyone was exhausted. Only Naruto always had enough energy left to complain, which was no surprise though. Sakura shut him off enough by giving him a hard punch against the back of his head, so that they could continue on in silence for a while.

Since they had entered the forest again, at a different part, far off from where the fight had taken place, Kakashi had even more difficulties in walking as he was barely able to lift his feet enough to avoid them being caught up at some roots on the ground. Hence, he was rather stumbling forward, the only thing keeping him from falling being Gai who steadied him silently.

Time started crawling by as he tried his best in keeping focused and awake enough to not collapse at the spot. But it got increasingly difficult the further they got, earning him a couple of worried side-glances from his friend. Suddenly they reached a cave, barely visible between all the trees. As they were closing in on it, Kakashi eventually spoke up, his voice low and strained, the words barely tumbling from his lips.

“Let´s rest here for the night.”

The others simply hummed their agreement as the exhaustion from the trip and the fights was finally getting to them as well. They all needed some time to regain strength even if it was just for this night. Kakashi knew that at least he needed a proper night’s sleep to be able to walk the rest of the way home. Or maybe it would make him only more sluggish…

Gai carefully guided him to the entrance, sitting him down so he could lean against the stone wall. He mumbled his thanks faintly as the others started setting up camp and a fire to prepare dinner. At first he watched them silently, his eye closing further and further.

_Maybe I should close my eye. Just for a moment…_

As soon as he did, though, he immediately fell into a deep slumber.

-

The white curtains on either side of his bed prevented the sun from blinding Kakashi as their light and warmth was only able to reach the lower part of his face. Now, a couple of hours into the day, his mind had finally cleared off enough to form coherent thoughts and stop the draining maelstrom of memories for a while. It left him staring simple-mindedly up ahead, not thinking at all.

It was a pleasant feeling to just exist and not think for a while.

Suddenly he heard the window sliding open soon followed by a deep chuckle.

“Oho.” the voice said followed by another chuckle. “You´re looking pretty laid-back there.”

Kakashi let his gaze wander towards the source of the voice on his right. Jiraiya was hovering in the window frame, steading himself at it as he grinned at Kakashi wickedly.

“Jiraiya-sama…” Kakashi breathed out his greeting.

“Though, I guess you´ve been like that for a while, eh?” the elder continued his teasing.

Kakashi barely registered it though, his gaze returning to staring back up ahead as Jiraiya fully entered the hospital room, closing the window behind him again. Just as he was standing next to his bed, Kakashi realised that he probably should get up since he didn´t expect Jiraiya to visit him just so. There must be something behind it.

Agonizingly slowly, he reached up his hand under the duvet to tuck his mask back into place as Jiraiya continued to speak.

“I heard that you´ll be stuck in bed for a week.” he pointed out, the teasing in his voice gone.

“Well, that´s what it looks like.” Kakashi stated matter-of-factly, his voice still slightly drained, sounding as if he was out of breath whenever he finished a sentence.

Now that his mask was back in place, he pushed his elbows into the mattress to urge himself into a sitting position. His muscles reacted slowly, twitching involuntarily, making him curl up as he was finally sitting, a strained groan leaving his lips as waves of pain shot through his overworked body.

“Oi, oi, easy! Don’t force yourself!” Jiraiya scolded him gently, placing a hand on his back to help him in finding a more comfortable sitting position. Kakashi, though, barely heard him as the pain didn´t subside so easily, his body slightly shaking. He hadn´t expected that his body would react that way, considering he´d been able to walk for another day after they had left Sunagakure. But maybe exactly that had drained his body more than anticipated.

“Yeah…you´re not going anywhere for a while.” Jiraiya noted darkly before turning towards the nightstand next to his bed. He boisterously placed two books with orange binding on it.

“A gift!” Jiraiya said. “Two volumes of ‘Icha Icha Paradise’. Although you´ve probably read them already, they will help pass the time here.”

Kakashi, who had finally calmed down, looked at the books as he slightly leaned back against his pillow to sit a little more comfortable.

“Thank you.” he breathed, before frowning and glancing directly at Jiraiya. “But you didn´t return to the village just to drop off some books for me, am I right?”

A faint grin spread over Jiraiya´s lips as he leaned against the window board, arms crossed in front of his chest. “We´ll talk in more detail once Tsunade and he arrive.”

Kakashi raised his eyebrow. “He?” he asked. “Who?”

Jiraiya turned away to look out of the window. “I believe that he´s calling himself ‘Yamato’ on this mission.”

_So, someone from ANBU then. But why? Did anyone already tell Tsunade about what happened?!_

He furrowed his brows as his thoughts drifted off, his gaze resting on his hands in his lap. They simply remained like that in silence, Jiraiya continuing to look outside. After a while, Kakashi reached out for the first volume of ‘Icha Icha Paradise’, opening it and starting to read.

A few pages into the story, his thoughts drifted back to the day they had tried to rescue Gaara. And to _her_.

-

Kakashi had hoped that once they had entered the forest, she would be standing somewhere on a branch above them or hiding behind some tree. Giving way _somehow_ that she was there and also expecting, urging, to be able to talk to any of them, preferably him.

But silence was surrounding them, only a few birds singing somewhere in the distance. She was nowhere to be seen or heard, nor could Kakashi sense her in some way. Of course, he didn´t expect to be able to do so, since she had simply _appeared_ last time, but still… That foolish hope remained.

With a deep sigh he opened his eye, taking time to adjust to the surrounding darkness. He could barely hear the crackling of the fire at their campsite here at that meadow where he had decided to try and wait for her. He didn´t know how much time had passed and hoped that the four hours weren´t up yet. Gai had taken over his shift already to give him more time. Cautiously, he let his gaze wander towards the big tree in front of him in the middle of the meadow.

And there she was, leaning against the tree trunk, one leg bent, foot pressed against the wood while her arms were crossed in front of her chest. She had tilted her head slightly to the side, the milky white of the moon´s light gently illuminating her face, the shadows of the hood reaching only till her eyebrows this time.

She was there.

A small gasp of surprise and relief left him. His hunch had been right after all. She had come here to see what he wanted to say, or rather know. Either she must have hoped the same things as he or she had simply expected him to return after she had disappeared without a trace. One way or another, he was more than glad that she actually showed up.

Now that she was not looking at him directly, he was able to examine her more closely. From the way she was standing there against the tree, he estimated that she would reach up till the tip of his nose if they were standing face to face to each other. And she couldn´t be any older than he was, probably even a couple of years younger.

Only a few strands of her hair were visible, reaching till her shoulder while gently framing her face. Her lips were pressed into a thin line, nose wrinkled in thought as her gaze laid somewhere in the distance. The blue of her eyes was gleaming more darkly in the milky white of the moon. Once again he found himself drowning in them as he slowly recognised something in them.

Then, her gaze drifted towards him, their eyes locking.

-

Kakashi coughed, pretending to have choked on his own spit to stifle the second gasp that had left him that night as their eyes had met for the first time after she had disappeared. He turned the page of the book although he hadn´t read a single word, noticing from the corner of his eye how Jiraiya turned back around to lean against the window board and face him.

Neither of them said anything and Kakashi hoped that Jiraiya wouldn´t find out so quickly that he was only pretending to read, his hand now regularly turning the pages in the usual time span he would need to read the pages.

-

“Who are you?” Kakashi breathed, his voice hoarse. Even though he was only whispering, he had the feeling that his voice was echoing in the air, louder than he wanted it to sound.

Her brows furrowed as she tilted her head to the other side. Just like earlier that day as she had asked him about his chakra, she seemed lost in thought, or for words, as she pursed her lips, all the while glancing at him intently.

“You are… Hatake Kakashi.” she stated, her soft voice only rising the slightest bit at the end as if she wasn´t quite sure.

He raised an eyebrow, opening his mouth to give a sarcastic retort, as she cut him off. “So… You´re first name is Hatake?”

“Kakashi.” he corrected her confusedly.

Her face lit up as if she had finally understood something. “Then, my name is [Last name] [Name].” she finally introduced herself, briefly unfolding her arms.

“But I can´t tell you who I _am_.”

-

He furrowed his brows, blinking several times before realising that a warm stream of air continuously brushed against his face. As his gaze drifted up, he was greeted with her intense blue ones that pierced into his, her face just a few inches away from him. She was leaning down to do so, her hand holding onto her hood, so it wasn´t falling over her eyes.

“Are you sure you are okay?” she asked with a frown, worry evident in her words. “You´re constantly drifting on and off…”

“Yeah, yeah, I´m fine.” he tried to brush it off. He had to be fine. He _needed_ to finish this conversation.

-

“Oi, Kakashi.”

He glanced up from his book to meet the black eyes of Jiraiya. “Hm?”

“You´re barely reading.” the older man stated dryly.

Kakashi opened his mouth only to close it again without releasing any reasonable explanation.

Jiraiya slightly leaned forward. “What´s on your mind?”

He sighed in return, looking back down onto the words on the white pages. They remained like that in silence for a while.

“You´re constantly drifting on and off.” Kakashi heard Jiraiya say the same words she had said to him that night.

“I can´t tell you yet.” he eventually said. “I need to discuss it with Tsunade-sama first.”

“Oh?” Jiraiya retorted, but didn´t dig in any further. It would´ve been helpless anyways as Kakashi had already drifted off again.

-

Then and now, that statement left him confused and slightly irritated. It sounded too much like a line from one of his books; Jiraiya would immediately use that line for a character in his next part of his ‘Icha Icha’-series if he had heard that. Even though it was a nice way to make one appear more mysterious, creating that kind of mystery probably wasn´t her intention to begin with.

“What do you mean, you can´t tell me who you are?” Kakashi muttered darkly, brows furrowed as he gazed at her intently.

The slight confusion from before disappeared as sadness crawled into her expression instead, a mere shrug the only answer he received for a while. She glanced away in the darkness of the forest, a strand of hair falling forward over her cheek, hiding her eye temporarily before she tugged the strand back under her hood and behind her ear.

“What makes us who we are?” she eventually whispered softly, her gaze drifting back to him. She was greeted with a pair of mismatched eyes as Kakashi had unintentionally opened his Sharingan now as well.

“Where are you from then?” he asked instead, avoiding her question since he hadn´t had an answer to it anyways.

Again, her brows furrowed and she pursed her lips as if deep in thought. Before she could answer, he already cut her off, saying what she would obviously answer him instead of telling him what he asked for.

“I am a shinobi from Konohagakure, a village in the Land of Fire.” he stated.

She nodded, closing her eyes for a second. “That sign on your head… All shinobi wear a kind of insignia.”

“Yeah.” he confirmed.

“I´ve been wandering around a while in countries with people like you… Different insignia, yet the same people…” she explained quietly, straightening herself a little against the tree. “But I am not from any country or village known to you.”

He blinked.

“I come from even beyond that. But I don´t recall where exactly. It´s been quite some time since I reached one of your countries after all.”

Kakashi pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to comprehend the little information she had given him so far.

“So, you are [Last name] [Name] and you don´t know where you are from?”

“That about sums it up.”

“Who are you?” he repeated his initial question.

She glanced away again, silence wrapping itself around them like a cover. It didn´t feel unpleasant, yet Kakashi craved to understand, craved to know what was behind that name that resonated not even the slightest bit.

“I don´t know.” she whispered honestly into the night.

-

Kakashi groaned, his back aching as his head lolled forward towards his chest. Flinching, his eyes shot open, staring down onto the dark forest ground his hands had clawed themselves into to prevent him from toppling over. He leaned back with a heavy sigh, trying to comprehend where he was.

[Name] glanced at him silently with her blue eyes, still leaning against the big tree across from him, her arms still crossed in front of her chest.

“Back again?” she asked softly, the faintest of smiles on her lips.

“Ah…” he murmured, realising that he must have fallen asleep during their conversation. “Sorry. Where did we leave off?”

“Who I was.” she noted.

Finally, he started to remember the conversation thus far. He still couldn´t figure out if it was a philosophical question or if there was more to her not saying who she was.

“I can´t remember much.” she explained before he could ask. “And the past… The people and bonds… That makes us who we are, doesn´t it?”

“I guess…” Kakashi agreed as he noticed the sadness and tiredness in her eyes.

“That´s why I meant what I said. I can´t tell you if I don´t know myself.”

He simply nodded in return, lost at what to say next. So far it hadn´t gone how he had imagined it and he hadn´t had thought much ahead either, expecting her to say more than she had revealed. Thinking hard, his nose wrinkled in concentration as he tried to phrase the numerous other questions raging through his mind, primarily about the reason why she had helped them out of a sudden.

“Why…? How…?” he eventually stammered out, not fully aware that he said his thoughts out loud.

“Akatsuki suddenly appeared out of nowhere in that cave, obviously their hideout. They interrupted me, so I decided to wait for them to disappear. ” Her gaze drifted away again. “And then _you guys_ appeared.”

“And that changed what?” Kakashi inquired to know.

“It brought some light into the darkness.” she murmured, still glancing away. “I have never seen someone like that boy Naruto… He…fights without wavering for his beliefs and friends. So far, I have only seen death and people causing it. The world we live in is dark, but that boy shed the tiniest bit of light into it.”

She fell silent again, but Kakashi sensed that she wasn´t quite finished, so he didn´t dare interrupting her train of thought this time.

“You as a shinobi probably know first-hand what it means to be a tool for someone´s goals and beliefs. For years, people had been using me for their purpose, keeping me in the darkness. I…” her voice broke. “I only did bad things as far as I can remember. I was _made_ to do evil. And I finally wanted that to end.”

“By ending your life?” Kakashi rather stated than asked being the only possible conclusion someone like her could´ve come up with.

“Yeah…” she breathed. “I have nowhere to go. I have no bonds. No-one that would mourn the end of this life.”

She sighed, finally glancing back at him. “I have nothing.”

-

“Are you sure you are okay?” she asked gently with a frown, worry evident in her words. “You´re constantly drifting on and off…”

“Yeah, yeah, I´m fine.” he tried to brush it off. He had to be fine. He needed to finish this conversation with her even if he didn´t know where this would lead them to.

Not the slightest bit convinced, she stood back up, releasing her hood as she glanced back down at him. After a moment, she decided that standing this way was not the best to continue the conversation. So, she sat down just in front of him, crossing her legs under herself, her cloak engulfing her like a duvet. Kakashi silently watched her. Worry was still evident in her eyes, but mingled in it was also her endless tiredness and something else.

An almost childlike, yet refreshing, innocence.

“So you helped us to try and redeem your actions of the past?”

She shrugged. “I wanted to understand him.”

“Doesn´t explain your actions, though.” Kakashi said softly, a faint lopsided smile spreading under his mask.

“I only know darkness.” she said barely audible. “I finally want to see some light.”

“And Naruto is that light?”

She didn´t answer right away as she thought about it, her gaze drifting down to her hands resting in her lap. Kakashi observed her silently for a while before his gaze drifted behind her into the forest. Only to see a certain blonde staring at them from high up in a tree, his typical determination flickering in his eyes.

 _He wants to invite her over._ Kakashi realised immediately at this familiar look in Naruto´s eyes. He obviously had listened in long enough to think that she was just like him, forlorn in this world with no-one accepting her for just being [Last name] [Name].

Kakashi glared at Naruto to prevent him from chiming in as she finally answered.

“No.” She shook her head to emphasize her words.

His eyes drifted back into her blue ones and again the way she looked at him reminded him of something. Yet, there was also a playful innocence to them that made him drown in that blue and close the small distance between them to grab her hand and tell her that she was not alone in that suffocating darkness.

“I simply want to turn _this_ into something good.” she whispered, her words barely reaching his mind as they glanced at each other.

It was a foolish thing to want to invite her over. Even after this conversation, he still didn´t know a thing about her. She could be a spy for Akatsuki. Or an ANBU ninja from another village. But before he could stop himself, the words left his mouth without him intending to, though they successfully made Naruto leave into the darkness. It left them both staring at each other, getting further lost in each other´s gaze.

“Come with us to Konoha. He paused briefly. “Or rather, come there in one week until I have settled everything with the Godaime.”

“Maybe we can find that light together.” he added later.

~

As the memories had finally subsided and he could think clearly again, Kakashi had resumed reading the first volume of ‘Icha Icha Paradise’, laughing at some passages while Jiraiya simply watched him with a smile of his own.

They both simultaneously stopped in their tracks as they noticed familiar chakra signatures closing in on the hospital room long before they heard the footsteps.

“Looks like they´ve arrived.” Jiraiya stated the obvious as Kakashi placed the book back on top of the other.

A knock rose from the door before Tsunade called from the hallway. “We´re here, Kakashi.”

“Come in.” he simply said before the door was slid open by Tsunade, revealing another man in the standard shinobi attire behind him as well as her assistant Shizune. The man had short brown hair, dark almond-shaped eyes and a happuri-style forehead protector framing his face.

The man´s face light up as he saw Kakashi. “Long time no see, Senpai.”

“You are…” There was no mistaking it. It was _him_. His former kōhai. “Ah. So you´re the one she called Yamato. I see.”

“Right.” Yamato confirmed sternly as he came to stand next to his bed while Tsunade decided to stand at the end of it facing Kakashi. “Yamato will be my code name while working as the interim captain of your team.”

“Yamato, huh?” Kakashi grumbled slightly annoyed while Yamato folded his hands behind his back, his gaze briefly drifting to the corner of the room behind him.

Tsunade then chimed in into the conversation and both Kakashi and Jiraiya explained to Yamato the quirks of having Naruto as a member in his team. Although Kakashi´s mind was clearer than as when Jiraiya had arrived, the conversation´s contents only lingered briefly in his mind, already forgotten again by the time they were finished.

Yamato wished him well with that kind smile of his before he left to prepare himself for the mission. As Tsunade also turned to leave, Kakashi stopped her, needing to get this finally off his chest.

“Tsunade-sama.”

“What is it, Kakashi?” she asked as she turned back around to him with an unreadable expression.

“I need to talk to you. About the mission.”

She raised an eyebrow before turning to leave again. “You already said that while barely conscious as I was checking in on you yesterday.”

A brief memory of his hand reaching out to grab her wrist and his strained plead to listen to him crawled back into his mind. So he had really said something and not just opened his mouth back then…

“We will talk later, Kakashi.” she simply said, leaving no room for arguments as the door closed behind her.

“Guess I have to stay longer in the village to find out what´s up with you.” Jiraiya mused teasingly.

Kakashi, though, had already grabbed his book again, returning to read. Just before he delved into the story, a final memory flooded back into his mind.

-

Even before the darkness around him gave him enough room for his conscious to spread out again, he felt the pain in every fibre of his being like a hot, red searing heat. A groan left his strained lips as everything cleared up and he could feel the steady pumping of his heartbeat, his twitching muscles and the throbbing pain in the back of his head.

He cracked his right eye open only to see dirt right in front of him, small particles dusting around him with each breath, making him cough. With the last bit of strength, he pushed himself slightly up with his arms. His body was trembling from the effort, another pained groan leaving his lips.

Sounds didn´t make their way into his mind yet as he felt a pair of hands slip beneath his chest to help lifting him up. He registered Gai´s worried face as he scrambled onto his knees, everyone else staring wide-eyed at the breathing Gaara, who must have opened his eyes as well just a second ago. In the haze of his pain, Kakashi noticed that the boy´s siblings as well as a couple of other shinobi from his village were closing in from the distance.

Panic started to rise in his chest, making his heartbeat quicken and his breath coming out in short pants. He groaned again as he was finally sitting, Gai´s hand settling on his shoulder. Kakashi waited for his breathing to even enough to talk as he darkly stared at the approaching shinobi. Incoherent words left his mouth, his tongue stumbling as it tried to form his thoughts, yet it was enough to turn everyone´s attention towards him.

“Everyone…” he declared darkly between pants. “Not. A _single_ word. About this… To **anyone**.”

He paused, glaring at each of them. “Understood?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~ separates the general, present timeline, whereas - separates different memories/events within a certain part of the timeline.  
> So, now for those who got confused by the slightly scrambled order of memories and events, here the chronological order (from Gaara´s revival till the discussion with Yamato & Tsunade):
> 
> 11 ~ 2 - 10 - 3 ~ 12 ~ 6 - 13 - 4 - 7 ~ 14 - 5 - 15.1 - 8 - 15.2 - 9.1 - 9.4 - 15.3 - 9.2 - 9.3 - 9.5 ~ 16 - 1
> 
> As mentioned in the Summary I am basing this story on a timeline published on the Naruto wiki. Since it´s implied there that one day passes between Kakashi being hospitalized and the new Team Kakashi being formed, the talk with Yamato, Jiraiya and Tsuande takes place the day after they arrived back in Konoha. Only if anyone was wondering ^^; considering in the anime it is not so clear.
> 
> I´m sorry that this chapter turned out longer than I expected ^^; I tried to keep it at least the same word count as the first, but it almost beat that already when I hadn´t even started writing the confrontation :D I hope you don´t mind. I can´t promise though that the next chapters will be just as long... I´ll try to keep them the same length as the first, if it exceeds that, then just because every scene needed to make the chapter complete in my mind was/needed to be added.


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